I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
