i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
