her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize