Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
