new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
