Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
