So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i've created a new STD.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
