halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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