I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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