just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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