K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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