i don't like sucking hair
I just cut my nipple shaving
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
