Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
