my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
