Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
