You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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