I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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