I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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