Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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