Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish my penis had a tongue
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
