worst night to have a conscience
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize