tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
