I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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