ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
