Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
