i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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