he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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