I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
