God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
