dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
