you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
