There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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