Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
