turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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