the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
