I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
