I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
