Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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