you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
