i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
