I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I have demons in me.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
