its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
