It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize