Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
