Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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