At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
