I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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