She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
