I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize