I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
