I love black thongs
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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