you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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