Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
