How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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