absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
