i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
