**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize