U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
