Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
