We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize