found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
