so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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