I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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