U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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