Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
