I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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