The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
