i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
