I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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