so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
