can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
