I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
