Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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