Im at strip club and am horny
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
