She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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