Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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