you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
