Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
